you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
