whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
