Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
no, he came in my armpit
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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