Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
