I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
