I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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