So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
How's work?
Spinning.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
