it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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