my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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