I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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