If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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