Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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