i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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