I think im going to throw up on grandma
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
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He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
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bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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