Her vagina should come with caution tape.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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