he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
