he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Randomize
