it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
You smell like stripper and shame
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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