i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
