He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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