I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I wish there were birth control emojis
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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