the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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