And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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