Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
