do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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