moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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