I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize