I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
