so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
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did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
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Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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