I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
