HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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