I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
