Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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