turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Dating After Heartbreak
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch