Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.

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(716): View more from New York

she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"

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(818): View more from California

well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning

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(705): View more from Ontario

Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(519): View more from Ontario

You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?

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(714): View more from California

I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave

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(917): View more from New York City

ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys

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