I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?