I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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