I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize
