Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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