So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
