I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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