Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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