The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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