Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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