That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
