Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
