Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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