wanna go halves on a baby?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
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I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
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The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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