the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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