Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
