This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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