he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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