is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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