Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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