she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
