dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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