Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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