You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
