even my farts smell like vagina
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
