i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
