Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
