well I can't set my house on fire every night
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
