Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
