So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
