If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
