She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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