All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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