Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
did i walk over a car last night?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
