I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
