She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Randomize
